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How to Survive a Warped Tour Concert

The Warped Tour is a series of highly popular live music that appear in major cities around the country. At this time there have not been any confirmed deaths where the Warped Tour was found responsible, but numbers can be misleading. You may be drawn to the Warped Tour because of the popularity of some of the artists that appear. If you absolutely must attend, please take these precautions to ensure that you survive the Warped Tour.

Instructions

    • 1

      Attend at a low crime city and venue. Go to the show in Vancouver or Salt Lake instead of the one in Detroit.

    • 2

      Stay away from acts followed by violent fans. The bands on the tour change every year, but it is much safer to visit the tents or stages where a college band or an independent act than one where a speed metal or thrash band is playing. Violent and unruly fans greatly reduce your chances of being able to survive the Warped Tour.

    • 3

      Flee from mosh pits. This is where violence reigns. There is no way you can survive the Warped Tour if you get stuck in one of these cauldrons of horror.

    • 4

      Stay adequately hydrated. There is going to be plenty of places to purchase water or other drinks and they are overpriced, but you must make sure you keep fluid in your body. These concerts can run a long time and if you get dehydrated you are in danger of not being able to survive the Warped Tour.

    • 5

      Suspect everyone is a threat. When the entire crowd is decked out with nose rings, tattoos and shredded clothes it is difficult to know who is dangerous and who is not. In order to survive the Warped Tour assume everyone is out to get you.

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