Thrive on drama and become an attention queen. If you don't like drama, then you can't be one of the real housewives. If there is something going on in your life, exacerbate the issue ten times over and make sure everyone knows about how hard it is for you.
Revel in gossip. Real housewives make time for gossip and so should you. Talk about your neighbors, your acquaintances and your best friends when they aren't around, just make sure you play nice when they are around.
Shop until you drop. Shop any day of the week. Sales? Who needs them. Real housewives know the power of nice things and aren't afraid to be shopaholics. Recession? What recession? You're gonna be the best looking housewife in your neighborhood no matter what anyone says.