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Zombieland List of Rules for Survival

The 2009 movie Zombieland, written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, takes place in a post-apocalyptic United States overrun by zombies. The central character, known only as Columbus and played by Jesse Eisenberg, narrates the film, providing the viewer with essential rules for survival. The list is said to have 33 rules, but only some are mentioned in the film and supplementary materials.
  1. Physical Preparedness

    • Columbus mentions "Cardio" as a survival rule. He explains that if a Zombie can't catch you they can't eat you; an overweight extra is terrorized by a member of the undead during his explanation. "Limber Up" emphasizes the importance of stretching to avoid pulled muscles that could cost you your life.

    Strategy

    • "Beware of Bathrooms." Survivors using bathrooms have their guards down and can`t see a zombie hiding behind a stall door. Sneakiness is also key: "Be Quiet" advises survivors to get shoes that don't make noise. "Know Your Way Out" is a self-explanatory reminder to have a good exit strategy.

    Transportation and Possessions

    • Columbus advocates seat-belt use as the film shows a driver slamming on the breaks only to be propelled into a group of waiting zombies. "Check the Back Seat" reminds survivors to always check the car for stowaway zombies. Columbus also advises survivors to "Travel Light." In the deleted scene "Ziplock Bags," a man tries to light a lantern with matches before being eaten by a hoard of zombies. Columbus says: "You've got enough problems, moisture shouldn't be one of them," implying that the man should have kept the matches in a plastic bag rather than his sweaty pockets.

    Weapon Use

    • One of the most prominently depicted rules is the "Double Tap." This rule means shooting a zombie twice to make sure it will not reawaken. "Kill with Efficiency" is another zombie-targeting strategy: survivors should avoid flashy weapons and gather ones that can be used easily and repeatedly. "Guns Are For Hunting, Not For Zombie Killing" reinforces Columbus` belief that firearms should only be used for emergency getaways.

    Survivor Interaction

    • The "No Attachments" rule helps you ensure your own survival, rather than fearing for a loved one's safety. The "Travel in Groups" rule might seem to contradict this; however, Columbis then explains that a fellow survivor's slow getaway can aid your own escape. Columbus seems to have a change of heart when he teams up with the high-living Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and adds "Get a Kickass Partner" to the list.

    "Enjoy the Little Things"

    • "Enjoy the Little Things" reminds survivors that, when not in immediate danger, the end of the world is a decent excuse to blow off some stream and find something to be happy about.

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