For Holden, Thomson hill embodies freedom. He says, “What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I really did. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it, even for old Phoebe. So I lay there and thought about things... for hours” (203). At the brink of despair, considering suicide, Holden retreats to his reveries about Thomson hill. Thinking of the hill provides a temporary respite from his mental anguish. Even during his lowest moments, Holden’s mind returns to this sanctuary.
Thomson hill also symbolizes Holden’s quest for connection. While there, he imagines meeting an “alley buddy,” someone who truly understands and accepts him. He envisions a companion for his escapades, a kindred spirit with whom he can share the joys and tribulations of life. For Holden, the notion of this person and this place signifies that somewhere, someone out there can provide the companionship and understanding he so desperately craves.
Moreover, Thomson hill embodies Holden’s dream of innocence. He longs to return to the simple, carefree days of childhood, before facing the harsh realities that accompany growing up. His reveries about the hill are like time travel, allowing him to revisit memories of purity and joy that stand in stark contrast to his current state of disillusionment. However, he can never stay at Thomson hill, as he is constantly called to confront the outside world.
Ultimately, Thomson hill serves as a metaphor for Holden’s longing for a place where he can belong. It embodies a refuge where he can feel connected, understood, and free. Even though he must leave the hill behind, it provides a glimmer of hope, a constant reminder that despite his struggles, he can find solace and contentment in the world.