Got a white name, like a Kennedy,
Like a Ford, like a Rockefeller.
Like a Rockefeller like a Kennedy, not like O'Malley
I'm as Irish as a Saudi Arabian.
I'm in the 20-percentile
That's not too shabby for a white guy
I've got good blood pressure
And I've got good eye-sight
And my cholesterol's low, my body mass is fine.
I've got a real good grip, not like Vanilla Ice
I am whiter than sour cream
I could eat paste and be okay.
(Chorus)
I drive a Prius and listen to NPR,
I'm so white I'm see-through, man, can't you see me?
My teeth are capped, my shoes are Keds,
I even have a patch of eczema.
I am white and nerdy, yes I'm white and nerdy,
The whitest and nerdiest that you ever did see!
I'm whiter than Wonder Bread, not like Vanilla Ice,
I could eat mashed potatoes and be okay.
(Verse 2)
Don't date a white girl unless she's Polish
Never try to give me a high-five
When I am doing a karate kick
When I'm doing karate, never try to give me five.
I'll take you to White Castle
And I'll buy you some sliders,
As many sliders as you like,
We can eat them all night,
But if I see you pick them up with your hands
I'll put you in a sleeper hold and make you sleep like a baby.
(Chorus)
I drive a Prius and listen to NPR,
I'm so white I'm see-through, man, can't you see me?
My teeth are capped, my shoes are Keds,
I even have a patch of eczema.
I am white and nerdy, yes I'm white and nerdy,
The whitest and nerdiest that you ever did see!
I'm whiter than Wonder Bread, not like Vanilla Ice,
I could eat mashed potatoes and be okay.
(Spoken)
Oh what's that? You want a rap breakdown?
Okay. Here it goes.
(Rap Breakdown)
I'm rollin' in my Pri-us,
Sippin' on some cranberr-y juice,
I'm bumpin' some Yo Yo Ma,
And I'm feelin' alright.
I'm whiter than a sheet of paper,
And I'm nerdier than a pocket protector,
But I'm still rollin' in the deep,
And I'm still feelin' alright.
I'm eatin' some tofu,
And I'm drinkin' some soymilk,
I'm readin' some Dostoyevsky,
And I'm feelin' alright.
I'm whiter than sour cream,
And I'm nerdier than a pocket protector,
But I'm still rollin' in the deep,
And I'm still feelin' alright.
(Chorus)
I drive a Prius and listen to NPR,
I'm so white I'm see-through, man, can't you see me?
My teeth are capped, my shoes are Keds,
I even have a patch of eczema.
I am white and nerdy, yes I'm white and nerdy,
The whitest and nerdiest that you ever did see!
I'm whiter than Wonder Bread, not like Vanilla Ice,
I could eat mashed potatoes and be okay.