What are some good not dirty confuscious says jokes?

> Why did Confucius always play second fiddle? Because Confucius say, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

> What did Confucius do when he got thirsty? He went out and got some "liquid refreshments."

> Why did Confucius frown when he saw a man on a unicycle? Because Confucius say, "Man who ride bicycle with one wheel have tendency to fall off."

> Why did Confucius always carry cash? Because Confucius say, "Man who carry credit cards go into debt."

> Why did Confucius recommend wearing a raincoat when it rains? Because Confucius say, "Man who gets wet get sick."