- "They say a dentist is someone who went to school to torture people... and then they didn't get into medical school."
- "Why do dentists make such good detectives? Because they're good at extracting information."
- "I went to the dentist the other day and he said I needed a root canal. I said, 'I'd rather just have the whole tree removed.'"
- "The dentist said I needed a crown. I said, 'Just give me a hat.'"
- "What do you call a dentist who retires? A tooth fairy!"