Where can I find a book about the music theory that teaches you EVERYTHING there is to know music?

While various textbooks, encyclopedias, and comprehensive resources aim to cover a great deal of music theory, there isn't a single book that claims to teach or contain absolutely everything there is to know about music. Music theory as a field is dynamic, expansive, and continuously evolving. Different experts have varied viewpoints and approaches as well. So, the scope of "absolutely everything" makes defining one exhaustive book that achieves this all-encompassing feat challenging. It would require combining knowledge from numerous sources spanning music history, diverse cultural musical systems, harmony, melody, structure, and beyond. Instead, music enthusiasts and music theory seekers often look to various books, study resources, academic texts, practical lessons, and even digital or interactive learning materials to progressively understand different theories and aspects of music that interest them.