"Instructions for use:
1. Insert pointed end into mouth.
2. Proceed with caution. (This is not a toy.)
3. Do not use for purposes other than intended. (Except for the occasional emergency paperclip replacement, in which case, disregard previous instruction.)
4. May cause choking if swallowed. (We really should put something about how to avoid that, but, you know, what fun would that be?)
5. Consult your physician if toothpick use exceeds the recommended daily allowance. (A sensible limit has not been established.)
6. Toothpicks are known to be addictive. (This is probably a good thing. We'll just keep the scientists working on that one.)
Important safety note: Toothpicks have been known to spontaneously combust when exposed to sunlight. We are working with the government to minimize this risk. In the meantime, store toothpicks in a cool, dry place, away from any flammable materials, and be careful not to look directly at them, especially at dawn or dusk."
This playful and slightly absurdist approach to product instructions is quintessential Adams. He often uses a humorous tone to highlight the absurdity of everyday objects and societal norms.