The text of two or more funny lines from a Shakespeare comedy?

"Why, then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison." - Hamlet, Act II, Scene II

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - The Merchant of Venice, Act III, Scene I