In the tombs of ancient Egypt, scribblings on the wall
Tell weird stories of old Egypt that they don’t want us to recall
Hieroglyphics, they can tell us what to do
Hieroglyphics, here’s a message for you
The great Egyptian Pharaoh, King Tutankhamun
He got married when he was just a little over eight years dun
And he died when he was eighteen in mysterious circumstances
No-one knows what happened, only there were lots of glances
Hieroglyphics, they can tell us what to do
Hieroglyphics, here’s a message for you
If you’re building any kind of pyramid, please keep in mind, please
Do not use a slave who’s wearing size nine trainers
Because those trainers would’ve crushed their feet and that would be unfair
Although it’s just as hard to wear a pair of slippers over there
Hieroglyphics, they can tell us what to do
Hieroglyphics, here’s a message for you
Egyptian soldiers really thought that when they went to fight
A hippo’s bottom would act like a protective shield in plight
The thought alone caused panic in their enemy’s ranks, you see
Because a massive hairy bottom no-one wants to see
Hieroglyphics, they can tell us what to do
Hieroglyphics, here’s a message for you
The ancient Egyptian pharaohs weren’t as rich and grand
They had to sell off all their lands just to keep the country manned
And their wives all hated them, cause every single day
They’d have to eat their packed lunch in a public toilet by the way
Hieroglyphics, they can tell us what to do
Hieroglyphics, here’s a message for you