If you wanna lose your man in a hurry (in a hurry)
Make up your mind to do everything wrong
Sooner or Later, sooner or later, (sooner or later)
He'll be packing his goodbyes and gone
Now don't forget to meet him at the front door
With nothin' on but curlers and cold cream on
Take your coffee to bed instead of breakfast in bed
Tell him that perfume that he bought you
Smells exactly like mothballs to you
When dinner conversation begins with a yawn
Don't tell him 'bout them dishes in the sink
Just lay all over 'em 'til you feel 'em sink
And let that vacuum gather dust
'Til all the dustballs turn to bust
Always get mad at his mother while the both of you watchin' t.v.
Call her old and nosy
When he brings you pretty flowers 'stead of sayin' you love 'em
Say there's something else you'd ruther've had and give him a hint at a diamond
Always say, "Why didn't you, why didn't you,
Why don't you do this, or get me that, that this thing needs repairin',
The other thing don't fit" Don't tell him his old T-shirt
Don't match those brand new $400 britches
Get yourself sick in public while the both of you sittin' in church
Then lay back on the pew and let her go in reverse
Let's see you take all weekend for your hairdo at that lady's down on Third
While he sits home and sews every last button back
On them $400 britches
Never give him reason to trust you ever no matter,
But always get angry if he thinks the other girls think you're cute
Don't be a lady. When you have some company
Put your feet on the coffee table
And pick at your teeth with a bobby pin
And while you're fixin' supper
Take off all your clothes but one brassiere
And walk naked from the den to the deep freeze
So that just in case he might forget
It'll remind him just what he's got at home for
One hundred easy ways to lose a man