Demand respect. Say the following phrase in an imperious monotone: "Respect my authoriTEH!" Consider tapping a nightstick or other bludgeon on your palm to further emphasize your authority.
Whine. Draw out the syllables for maximum annoyance to the listener. For example, say "But Mooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooom..." You will get your way and have the added benefit of annoying the person you are persuading and everyone else in hearing distance.
Never compromise. When talking to someone who is clearly failing to respect your authority, say, "Screw you guys, I'm going home." If someone persists, invite this person to suck or kiss some lewd portion of your anatomy.
Insult everybody, all the time. Make no exceptions for political correctness, diplomacy or human decency, regardless of who you talk to. Remember that nothing is sacred, so use every known derogatory term. Racial and ethnic slurs, sexism and homophobia are all fair game. If you don't have a word to use, make one up. Don't forget poverty, disability and appearance.
Taunt inferiors, who are everywhere in South Park and comprise most of the planet's population. Develop sing-song routines to lord it over them. The ever popular "Ha" and "Nyah" never fail to annoy your target. Glory in your enemies' defeat.
Protest your innocence and good intentions, even if you are the perpetrator. This can be invaluable in ensuring your comfort and convenience. Be sure to lie whenever self-defense and/or profit are at stake. Lying can also provide great free entertainment.
Swear horribly and constantly. Be creative and come up with your own unique curses. "Jesus Christ Monkey Balls!" is a classic example. Remember that Cartman has used this great talent to save South Park and the world.