Imagine a scene in 3-D, then think about how you would feel if you were in the middle of it. Consider the following two descriptions of the scene in this photo.
FLAT: He got on the surfboard and rode the wave.
A 3-D DESCRIPTION: For a moment Jonathan froze as the wave sped toward him with an angry roar -- the big one surfers dream about. He inhaled the salty aroma, water hammering his body like little jets. His only thought: Focus on the wave. One wrong move could be his last.
Excessive description or too many adjectives or adverbs take away from the scene. Write tight and the reader or viewer will fill in the details with her own imagination.
OVER-DETAILED: The firefighter climbed the ladder ascending into the intense heat protected by his insulated jacket with spring hooks, insulated pants with Velcro closures held up by suspenders over a cotton T-shirt, a Nomex hood, his helmet complete with a flap to protect his neck and goggles to shield his eyes. Insulated gloves covered his hands and other equipment included SCBA shoulder straps, an air tank bottle and backpace frame. It weighed about 70 pounds.
The reader doesn't need to or often doesn't want to know this much.
BETTER:
The unmistakable odor of charred wood and flesh burned his nostrils as the firefighter prepared to climb the ladder. How many times had he done this before, and how many more would follow? Even though all of his clothing was insulated, danger always lurked, waiting to lick through a jacket or leg of his pants. He wiped some of the soot from his brow with a gloved hand, then placed his foot on the first rung. The 70 pounds of gear grew heavier with every step. Maybe this time he'd be able to save them.
Feel the heat, the firefighter's knowledge that this is dangerous, and his hope no one will die.
Don't forget to add emotion.
WOODEN:
When the police officer said her husband had been killed in an accident, Jen stared in disbelief.
PACKED WITH EMOTION:
The officer said, "Mrs. Stewart, there's been an accident."
Jen's voice shook. "Paul?" Then she screamed, "Was he in the accident? What --"
The officer cleared his throat, placing his hand on her shoulder. It was clear he hated what he was about to say. "There's no easy way to tell you. Mr. Stewart, well, he was killed instantly. Never knew what hit him."
Fright turned to hysteria. Then everything went black as Jen's body pitched forward.
When the emotion comes through, the reader identifies with the drama. It isn't flat narrative.
Have some people read your manuscript and listen to their comments with an open mind. Then make additional edits as needed.