A flea hopped into a saloon, drank half a bottle of whiskey and chatted with his other insect friends. They all went out to the street again, where he looked around and said, "Okay! Who moved my dog?"
What's the difference between the visitor your aunt Clara dragged along with her and your flea ridden dog? One's itching to go and the other's going to itch!
Why didn't the flea pass his final exams? He wasn't up to scratch!
Two ants were running across the top of a cereal box. "What's the hurry?" demanded one. "Can't you read?" said the other. "It says, 'Tear along the dotted line!'"
How come anteaters never get ill? Because they're filled with ant-ibodies!
What do you with an insect that falls down and hurts itself? You put it in an ant-bulance!
What did one boy centipede say to another boy centipede about the girl centipede crossing its path? What a nice pair of legs, what a nice pair of legs, what a nice pair of legs, what a nice pair of legs, what a nice pair of legs...
What do you get when a centipede and parrot have a baby? A walkie-talkie!
What has 50 legs but still can't walk? Half a centipede!
What did the spider tell her husband who tried to explain away forgetting their anniversary? Stop spinning me such a yarn!
What do spiders say when they tear their webs? Darn it!
Why would a spider want to buy a car? To take it out for a spin!
What did one maggot say to the other when he got stuck half way through an apple? Try and worm your way out of that one!
What do you call a wig that can hear? An earwig!
What does a fly become when it loses its wings? A walk!
Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance? Because it was a moth ball!