Look at any manuscript as if you’ve never seen it before, whether you, a friend or family member, or a stranger wrote it. Pick it up and think: “This is any book I might read. Is it worth my time?”
Begin reading. If you get to page three and can’t remember page one, there’s a problem. Most likely it didn’t grab you. This can be fixed. Read on. Start with line editing. This is the process in which you edit sentences and paragraphs without necessarily seeing the “big picture” of the story.
Start looking for any words that can be cut. For example: “He thought the first period of time he spent would be good and he would be planning to have more things that the woman told him he should have in his possession.” How about: “He thought the first period he spent would be good. He would plan to have more things the woman told him to have.” Both say the same things, but the first uses extra and meaningless words.
Keep description, but don’t keep too much. “The green table smelled like ammonia” might be better than “The green table had an antiseptic smell, the smell of a hospital or a janitor’s closet.” It depends, however, on what the story needs. Does it need atmosphere? Is the writer foreshadowing the cold, antiseptic feeling of a hospital or morgue for later use? If so, stick with the second version.
Cut all cliches. Cliches, unless they have a twist, allow the reader to go on autopilot and not really read the words. If we see the words, “To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” we know what the rest of the sentence is going to be by “there is.” If we see, “To every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism,” it stops us and makes us take notice.
Cut all bureaucratic words, whether they are real words or not. “The ball is currently motionless” says exactly the same thing as “The ball is motionless.” The word “currently” is redundant. Yes, there is a word “monies,” but there never is a reason to use it. “Money” suffices quite well. “Police officers observed the criminal go into the bank” is clearer as “Police officers saw the criminal enter the bank.” Watch for misuse of punctuation. For example, when writing “Pink Floyd members released their best albums in the 1970s,” there is no reason to use an apostrophe. When writing “1970’s ‘Atom Heart Mother’ by Pink Floyd is a strange album,” the apostrophe is needed.
Now go back to the beginning of the manuscript and start over. This time, read for story, continuity and clarity. If the beginning is week, find a strong section of the book, move it to the beginning and then go backward if necessary to catch up the story. It is the second or third read where you will edit the story rather than the words.